Topic: What to do- Avor's Journey

[Avor]

I joined the army a year of and half ago, with hopes to be in Afan ASAP.

But durig basic I had a alot of back pain, It was very hard, but I passed, barely. I went forward, but things went to crap on BIQ. Luckly the Sargent Majour got pissed off with me and ordered me to MIR, where I was diagnosed with cancer in the spine. Sugery was done in Sept 07. But here I am, months later, with no rehabilitation what so ever, and so crippled I can barely walk.

My problems are mine, as in what do with my crippled ***. But what don't know is what to do when one of the guys I was on basic with end up dead on CTV. I know it's going happen, most of them are going over sept 08, PPCLI. I  know I will be eating in the mess in Wainwright one day and I will see one of their faces one the news, dead in Afghanistan. And I won't know how to deal with it, how I wasn't there for them. Please, what do I do?



those of you who know me, PTE McCuauley, BMQ 0059E I am so ******* sorry I let you all down, please forgive me.

[Bruce Monkhouse]

When one has legitimate medical issues they haven't let anyone down.....

[Kat Stevens]

It was CANCER, man, not faking a sprained ankle to get out of a ruck march.  You have nothing to apologize for.

[lone bugler]

Hopefully you will fight another day (unless world peace happens which in my opinion is never). Remember the first thing about being a good soldier is to follow your orders. If Rick wants to send your buddies over and not you because of this tragedy, you did exactly as your told so I hardly think anyone would be mad at you. Second of all I'm cocerned for your condition right now, hope you get better soon and able to return to active duty (if you already did, good for you )

[MedTech]

Mate, go to your MIR again. Ask for physio. They should know about your condition, and frankly I am more then a little surprised that a follow up has not occured. Regardless you should not feel like you've let anyone down, you were precluded from being with your mates due to circumstances beyond your control. So guess what? ORDERS.

Situation: You're currently unable to deploy or advance due to illness.

Mission: Get yourself better then attempt again your career courses and eventually overseas.

Your commander's intent is for you to get better and this I'm sure is at all levels.

Execution: You WILL take charge of your own recovery by seeking aide from MIR or any other medical professional refered to you by the MIR. Follow their guidance and get better.

Groupings and Taskings: you, your family and your mates will allpitch in to your recovery, with you being the driving force.

Command and Signals: Take command of your recovery, listen to the advice and guidance of your medical professionals and those within your CoC.

End State: When you've gotten better.

Now, I'm sure my Orders format is all over the place, but you get the idea.

Best of luck on your recovery.

[PanaEng]

First off, POSITIVE attitude dude!
for both your recovery and for your mates. The likelihood of any of your course mates dying in battle is low - but, as often happens, one or two can get stupid and drink and drive/or drive dangerously and get killed in a road accident. Happened too many times in Petawawa when I was there. Our RSM in 2CER - Mr. Duguid - used to get pretty pissed off - "that's no way for a soldier to die" he used to say.

get well soon, have patience and persevere so that you can finish your trg asap.

cheers,
Frank

Chimo!

[Avor]

Bit of an update.

Things whent to crap.. The medical plan was to get my care transfered out to BC, to be out with family and stuff while undergoing radiation and rehab. But I fell  ewtween the cacks. I didn't complain at first, becuase ut meant  they sent me home of sick leave. Free money and BC sun eh? But me back pain and problemsgot wrose and worse. I eventualy went to the Esquimmalkt MIR where they gave me meds and started to learn about the crack I was lost in. Once they knew what was going on hthey started to sent me to physio ad reffereal to cancer doctors, But tthings wnet to crap. I had a hard rime just walking. Things got worse, I had to go to tehe emergency room. I could not walk or see at all. I was on moorhinr trip for nearly 2 weeks as tehy  tried to sort mme out.

Anntwwways, about 2 weeks ago they took me down vic, and they are doing radiation five times a week. I can a bit on my own a bit, I am seeing just not so well, but I a peeing into a cathader still, and my hair is falling out.


Now the the thing that is realyy bothering me is that my assiting offiver has told me that I am going to be badged. An honaurary things toshow that I;m still part of the famility. Tribute to that  infantry is what I signed up for, still want to do, but cannnot. And well, it just doesn;t feel right,, to Adrian Clarkson co me donee, pin  a badge my hat, the same badge that others work for, and more im portantly, wear overseas.
 I want that cap badge, bit this is not thee way I wanted to get it. Laying down, blad, and weak.. There is nothing I can do but accept it, hopeing that I come out of this cancere bullshiht alrighgt enough chance to earn it the way I want. At the very least, I joined the CF as a caareer, I may noy be able to serve asa infantry, but there has to be something I can do.


Sorry in advance that I may noy reply to PM and some replies, my vision is only coming back, Itt's hard for me to see much of anything. Please keepreplies short orin larger font.

[Koenigsegg]

You are going through one of the hardest fights anyone can possibly encounter.
Don't feel bad, and I'm sure that any one of your BMQ mates would throw their support behind you 100%.  No one is looking down on you.  On top of that, inspite of your ailment, you haven't given up on the military, and never want to.  You may not feel that deserves acknowledgement, but it does.  Real dedication it seems.

[Loachman]

Now the the thing that is realyy bothering me is that my assiting offiver has told me that I am going to be badged.

Somebody considers you worthy of the badge. If they didn't, you would not be receiving it. Accept that, and accept the badge with pride for what you have accomplished so far, despite your illness.

Use it as a source of inspiration. You are facing a long and hard battle, and keeping your goal in sight can help you in that. The badge can be a visible reminder to aid you.

Stay in touch with your coursemates. They are probably as much worried for you as you are for them.

And keep posting here. You've now got thousands of site members awaiting reports of your progress and recovery.

Good luck.

[Rodahn]

I'm here in Victoria, if there is anything that you need that you can't get due to family being farther away, just give me a holler via PM.

In the mean time, get well and join your extended family as soon as you can. Take care.

[daftandbarmy]

Now the the thing that is realyy bothering me is that my assiting offiver has told me that I am going to be badged. An honaurary things toshow that I;m still part of the famility. Tribute to that  infantry is what I signed up for, still want to do, but cannnot. And well, it just doesn;t feel right,, to Adrian Clarkson co me donee, pin  a badge my hat, the same badge that others work for, and more im portantly, wear overseas.

You'll know that you've really made it when they send you a mess bill 

Stop bitching, take the badge, dig in, fix bay'nets, get better, soldier on. We need people like you.

[Avor]

Thank uou everybody, but I don't think is will ever feel  truely right to me. To me, canacer is soemthing that befalls you, a deseasae, illness, something that makes you a victim. Soldiers are nit victims, that is what makes soldiers, they willingly put themselves in danger for something more than themselves.

I'm here in Victoria, if there is anything that you need that you can't get due to family being farther away, just give me a holler via PM.

In the mean time, get well and join your extended family as soon as you can. Take care.

Thank you, but the army is looking after things good. My parents are just up in Duncan, so the army put them up in a hotel here in Victoria. My mom and dad have been with me almost 24/7. The army hasa done some other good things, like the mini fridge, tapes, and covering the cable bill. Aslo when I am up and going, but sill have to continue radiation, they want to put us up on base. I will be able to go to the hosptital every day as needed, nut be able to live in vic on base.  People are right when the they say the army looks out for you when your in hospital.


Also, the badgeing will be done by Brigadier General Gollner, Adrian Clarkson turned out to be busy.

[George Wallace]

Keep your spirits up.

Cancer knows no bounds.  We all know colleagues who have had cancer.  Some have been terminal.  There are some on this site who have fought Cancer and won. 

You are not alone out there.

[Mr.Newf]

There is nothing to be sorry about man, nothing.

Yes crap happens, and this is really shitty. But, you can pull through it.


If you ever want to talk, we are all here for you. Always.

-Deadpan

[Avor]

Well, some pics from yesterday.





Alot of o big(rank) people. I guess I didn't fully realise that this i accauly makeing me a real par of the regiment. I first thought of this as just an honoury thing, to show I'm still part of the family. But it looks like more than that. Once I'm medicaly sorted out I now go to Edmonton, I may never be fit for combat, but I'm sure there is work in garrison.

[Strike]

Avor,

You are an inspiration to us.  Always remember that.  The fact that you made it through basic with your condition is proof positive.  The fact that you are now badged is a testament to how much the Regiment also admires and respects you.  Keep up the fight, get better, get healthy.  You are certainly the type of person the CF needs...someone who is not afraid to take on a challenge.  Just because it's not on the battlefield doesn't lessen its importance.  Some of the hardest battles we fight are at home.

[ArmyVern]

Well, some pics from yesterday.

Alot of o big(rank) people. I guess I didn't fully realise that this i accauly makeing me a real par of the regiment. I first thought of this as just an honoury thing, to show I'm still part of the family. But it looks like more than that. Once I'm medicaly sorted out I now go to Edmonton, I may never be fit for combat, but I'm sure there is work in garrison.

Bud,
I don't know how I managed to only come accross this thread right now, but am enlarging the font so you can see it well. You look HOT!! here's a pic of me from a decade ago (and I damn well looked hot too!!):



Chin up. We are your family. And if you ever need a thing, to talk, to chat, to rant, to rave, to cry, to laugh ... send me a PM and I'll give you whatever you need. You're certainly not a victim, rather you are a soldier ... we always fight with the damn best of them too.

Strength to you.

Veronica

[Strike]

Bud,
... send me a PM and I'll give you whatever you need...

Careful...she means it.   

[MedTech]

Avor,

   Soldier on mate. Soldier on.

[Redeye]

Reading things like this really are a great reminder of how great it is to be a part of this huge family and to know that those who deserve it get looked after...  Keep up the fight and know there's a hell of a lot of people pulling for you.

[ken_TO]

Get well bro! 

[Avor]

Medical update, moday they took out the cathader. Things were ok, I was peeing okish, but then I started to get crazy ammounts of pain in my hips and legs. Then I wasn't able to drain my bladder. So they did and urine tests, put the cathader back in, and it turns out I have some kind of urinary track infection. The only possitive to the whole thing is that it is best treated by pill, thats good because I hate needles and pills can be done from home. I have the option to try going with out the cathader, but with the infection I dont know if I should. I feel where things are irritated inside me, maybe I should wait a day or talk to the doctor.

Dinner walked in, more latter.

[CDN Aviator]

Hang in there Avor, we're all behind ya.

[Kruggle]

Keep on fighting. We are all looking forward to your updates!

[Avor]

The military has been great, on Tuesday they put my parenys up in a PMQ on base instead of paying for a hotel. Its really nice not to my parents commuting uo and down the Island, my dad  works in vic and my mom is here everyday. Also, once I am able I do not have to stay at the hospital, I will only have to come in for radiation. So its best I stay in vic, compared to driving Duncan and back everyday.

The downer that has me annoyed is that all the radiation has fried my taste buds. I honestly can't taste the difference between milk and chocolate milk. Eating chocolate has no flavour, fruit is tasteless and dry, and most candies bland. Only the strongest things I can taste at all, like some meat, sausage rolls, cheeese. Its depressing, exspecting comfort food and getting bland, tasteless nothing.

Kruggle , im not that blind anymore, I can do normmal font for the most part.