long story short... she wants to go out.. i'm not comfortable with it, because of what she has done, but i dont want to say much against it, because that will push her away further. I love her, and deep down i know she loves me.. i'm just so far away. its a 4 months tasking, not quite a deployment, but a long time away from home either way.. especially for our first time apart. but being a tasking, not a tour, there isn't much for support.
Im so frustrated, and scared. I dont want to lose her, but i cant let her walk all over me. I'm getting help for my personal issues, but as far as the relationship, we aren't married, so i'm pretty much being told to cut her loose and to get over it. 
I dont know. This has been a bit of a rant/vent.. I do feel better getting it out though. Thanks for reading.
Well that is a tough situation to be in, I'm not in your situation however I seem to have an abundance of experience with a similar situation
. I will share with you my two cents on the situation, hopefully it helps.
From my own experience, I used to be an insecure person, by the time I married my ex I was generally a very secure and confident person, however I was terrified of her cheating on my when I was overseas. In heinsight that should have raised some alarms, but it did not. She was not supportive of my life goals and aspirations, nor was she supportive of what I was apart of in Afghanistan. It was all about her, and from my fear of losing her I played ball, and did whatever I could to appease her. Big mistake. That relationship was doomed to fail from the start. That is not to say I didnt love her, however I was in love with the idea of who I knew she could be, not what she was. My mistake, my pain, her benefit of having a good person like me and the financial, material, and emotional support for all those years. She had issues, I helped her grow as a person. When everything went to crap and she cheated on me, I was destroyed. I went through fits of rage, and complete depression, half of me wanted her back, half of me wanted to tell her where to go, and never look back. After time I obviously smartened up and chose the ladder. The thing I realised is the relationship I had was based on false pretenses and created emotions I made to make myself feel better about the crappy relationship. I never got what I needed as a person from her. After a lot of counselling to deal with my anger(pre exisiting which was dramatically increased from tour) and the end of my marriage, I realised I am way better off without her, and I am a lot happier by myself. a lot of self help, and talking with friends but I got over it and learned A LOT. It is when I realised I was happy without her, and that im a much stronger person for it, I met my current girlfriend. She is amazing. Its a complete 180 from my past experience. I could go on and explain how great this person is, however there is not much point. Point is it is when I was happy with myself, that I found someone. Women are very intuitive, they will pick up whats going through your head.
In my case my ex cheating on me was the best thing that could have happened. Its a pain in the neck to go thru the divorce but hey, live and learn. Keep on soldierin on. No one can tell you what to do, only you can make the decision whats best for you, but experience has shown me that it might be time for you to be honest with yourself about the situation. Counselling can help.
Good luck buds
