« previous next »
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship  (Read 5157 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline InkerThinker

  • Guest
  • *
  • 130
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 6
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #25 on: September 03, 2009, 21:53:41 »
Wow, Thank you all for your replies...

All Three (3) of us are in the Reserves (Class B over 180) and we all work under the same 'general' command structure...of a Reg F unit...

About the Easter Bunny signing off... yeah... he seems pretty teflon if you'd ask me.

As for my spouse saying that the events happened... the "WO" is saying that nothing has happened and that my wife is full of crap.
(yet I have proof beyond a doubt that the relationship had occured... (discusting philthy proof...) She has told me things and showed me things that only he would of known and done... Don't question whether it happened... I already know that it did... but the fact that the "WO" is sticking to his guns makes my poisoned working environment turn on me...

the CoC issue the "WO" is not in mine... he is in hers... and is privy to my schedule/whereabouts...etc...
Logged

Offline gcclarke

  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • 24,085
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 758
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #26 on: September 04, 2009, 11:58:43 »
Quote from: InkerThinker on September 03, 2009, 21:53:41

the CoC issue the "WO" is not in mine... he is in hers... and is privy to my schedule/whereabouts...etc...

Now that just opens a whole 'nother can of worms. Yeah, I highly suggest you bring this issue up with a Padre. As well, retain whatever proof it is that you have.
Logged
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
- Calvin Coolidge

Offline Kat Stevens

    non atrocitate, non clementia mutabatur.

  • Milnet.ca Subscriber
  • Milnet.ca Veteran
  • *
  • 99,795
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 3,902
  • that's how we roll in redneck land
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #27 on: September 04, 2009, 12:01:11 »
Quote from: gcclarke on September 04, 2009, 11:58:43
Now that just opens a whole 'nother can of worms. Yeah, I highly suggest you bring this issue up with a Padre. As well, retain whatever proof it is that you have.

And get a lawyer, a real smilin' shark.
Logged
Apparently, a "USUAL SUSPECT"

plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose

If a million people do a stupid thing, it's STILL a stupid thing.

Dimensions will always be expressed in the least useable term, velocity for example, will be expressed in furlongs per fortnight.

 Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats

 “Look here, Mars! Look here, Mars! I am Titus Pullo! These bloody men are my gift to you.”

Offline patriot1112

  • Member
  • ****
  • 995
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 141
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #28 on: September 04, 2009, 12:12:19 »
My ex wife cheated on me while I was in Afghansitan. Rumours have circulated that she also did it with other soldiers. I have no proof of this however it does not matter as we are now in the divorce process and have been apart for over a year.

So coming from experience, go to a Padre ASAP, if you havnt already. They will best be able to guide you on this issue. From personal experience, they get **** done. Get a lawyer. This is your own decision to make, but once a cheater always a cheater in my books. Get that lawyer, if there good, because of her adultery, she should get the short end of the stick.

You don't deserve that at all. You sound like an honest decent guy, and judging by your reaction to this you are. You can do better than this wh*re. Trust me, again from experience, you will find better and be way happier than if you try to work things out with her. Keep in mind it takes two to tango. He may be a complete douchebag, but she played just as much of a part in this as him. If it wasn't for her this wouldn't have happened. DO NOT forget that. Get rid of her and find better for yourself. You deserve it.
Logged

Offline Kat Stevens

    non atrocitate, non clementia mutabatur.

  • Milnet.ca Subscriber
  • Milnet.ca Veteran
  • *
  • 99,795
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 3,902
  • that's how we roll in redneck land
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #29 on: September 04, 2009, 12:22:08 »
Quote from: patriot1112 on September 04, 2009, 12:12:19
My ex wife cheated on me while I was in Afghansitan. Rumours have circulated that she also did it with other soldiers. I have no proof of this however it does not matter as we are now in the divorce process and have been apart for over a year.

So coming from experience, go to a Padre ASAP, if you havnt already. They will best be able to guide you on this issue. From personal experience, they get **** done. Get a lawyer. This is your own decision to make, but once a cheater always a cheater in my books. Get that lawyer, if there good, because of her adultery, she should get the short end of the stick.

You don't deserve that at all. You sound like an honest decent guy, and judging by your reaction to this you are. You can do better than this wh*re. Trust me, again from experience, you will find better and be way happier than if you try to work things out with her. Keep in mind it takes two to tango. He may be a complete douchebag, but she played just as much of a part in this as him. If it wasn't for her this wouldn't have happened. DO NOT forget that. Get rid of her and find better for yourself. You deserve it.

Best. Post. Ever.
Logged
Apparently, a "USUAL SUSPECT"

plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose

If a million people do a stupid thing, it's STILL a stupid thing.

Dimensions will always be expressed in the least useable term, velocity for example, will be expressed in furlongs per fortnight.

 Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats

 “Look here, Mars! Look here, Mars! I am Titus Pullo! These bloody men are my gift to you.”

Offline Carcharodon Carcharias

  • Drawing the crabs from Downunder :) WTF is TWL?
  • Banned
  • Milnet.ca Fixture
  • *
  • 29,540
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 5,281
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #30 on: September 04, 2009, 12:43:55 »
Upon my return from Iraq, my now EX left me within 6 days, and cost me over $250,000 to wash her out of my life. She's someone elses nightmare now, living north of Sydney.

That was 2007.

Life rolls on, and now I always look at the glass as being half full. However the journey to where I am now was truly an uphill battle.

Welcome to the broken heart's club.

You'll heal, and meet someone better, but its time she gets her marching papers.

Good luck eh.

OWDU
Logged
"You've never lived until you've almost died; as for our freedom, for those of us who have fought for it, life has a flavour the protected will never know." - Anonymous

Offline PMedMoe

    is NOT a Med Tech.

  • Milnet.ca Subscriber
  • Milnet.ca Fixture
  • *
  • 165,680
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 7,033
  • I am NOT a Med Tech!!
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #31 on: September 04, 2009, 13:06:05 »
Don't we already have a "cheating spouse" thread?   ???
Logged
I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Offline medicineman

  • Well stuck into my new job and thoroughly enjoying it.
  • Milnet.ca Veteran
  • *****
  • 66,940
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 3,999
  • In Arduis Fidelis
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #32 on: September 04, 2009, 13:06:42 »
Quote from: CDN Aviator on September 03, 2009, 16:54:00
If that was the case, there are many military member's whos actions on civvy street would land them a low rating in the ethics department. That being said, using this incident as a justification for a low ranking for AF16 wouldnt make it very far and would lead to a pretty justifiable redress.

I would agree except that for cases such as this, conduct off duty is certainly causing potential problems on duty - and it's certainly something that is unbecoming someone in a leadership position.  If these actions are common place with this person (ie this isn't just an isolated incident) and the allegations are able to be backed up, I don't see what's wrong with it going on their PER.  Anyone can redress their PER, especially if they haven't been counselled about their shortcomings and the report is a complete surprise.  My guess is this wouldn't be a complete surprise though - he knows what he's doing, just finally getting called on it.  Just my opinion of course - wouldn't be the first one redressed on me  ;D.

MM
Logged
MM

Remember the basics of Medicine - "Pink is GOOD, Blue is BAD, Air goes in AND out, Blood Goes Round and Round"

I may sound like a pessimist, but I am a realist.

Offline CDN Aviator

  • Milnet.ca Myth
  • *****
  • 145,805
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 15,803
  • BD3D Op
    • Association of Old Crows
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #33 on: September 04, 2009, 13:12:05 »
Quote from: medicineman on September 04, 2009, 13:06:42
I would agree except that for cases such as this, conduct off duty is certainly causing potential problems on duty -

In my experience, unless someone was thrown in jail, the "conduct on and off duty" bubble is pretty much a default to "acceptable".
Logged
"Ahh..... F**k it....weapon away !!"

"The only difference between peace and war is where we place our bombs" - General Curtis E. LeMay

Offline InkerThinker

  • Guest
  • *
  • 130
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 6
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #34 on: September 04, 2009, 13:16:50 »
I was NOT trying to start another cheating wives thread by any means...

I wanted to know about how the "WO"s conduct is going to be addressed (if at all)

My suspicion was Abuse of Authority or Art 129 of NDA... but how on earth do I make this person 'pay' for this...

I blame him more than I do my wife as i know how much of a lying suave d*****bag he is, and was easily led by his kind nature...  ::)

So enough about leaving her I've already dealt with her on my own terms and for me it's a dead issue... it's HIM i want advice about.

Thank you all for your words, I've left a message with a local padre and hopefully he'll get back to me shortly so we can talk about this.

Is there any more advice on what (if anything) the military can do to help me with this a$$.
Logged

Offline PMedMoe

    is NOT a Med Tech.

  • Milnet.ca Subscriber
  • Milnet.ca Fixture
  • *
  • 165,680
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 7,033
  • I am NOT a Med Tech!!
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #35 on: September 04, 2009, 13:23:17 »
Quote from: InkerThinker on September 04, 2009, 13:16:50
I was NOT trying to start another cheating wives thread by any means...

I wanted to know about how the "WO"s conduct is going to be addressed (if at all)

My suspicion was Abuse of Authority or Art 129 of NDA... but how on earth do I make this person 'pay' for this...

I blame him more than I do my wife as i know how much of a lying suave d*****bag he is, and was easily led by his kind nature...  ::)

So enough about leaving her I've already dealt with her on my own terms and for me it's a dead issue... it's HIM i want advice about.

Thank you all for your words, I've left a message with a local padre and hopefully he'll get back to me shortly so we can talk about this.

Is there any more advice on what (if anything) the military can do to help me with this a$$.

No worries, my remark wasn't directed at you.  I understand what info you were loooking for.  Sorry we couldn't help more, it seems to be a pretty "grey" area.
Logged
I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Offline InkerThinker

  • Guest
  • *
  • 130
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 6
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #36 on: September 04, 2009, 13:33:04 »
Quote from: PMedMoe on September 04, 2009, 13:23:17
Sorry we couldn't help more, it seems to be a pretty "grey" area.

How can I help de-'grey' the area?  ???
Logged

Offline gcclarke

  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • 24,085
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 758
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #37 on: September 04, 2009, 14:02:19 »
Ummm the fact that the WO is in the wife's chain of command definitely makes it a non-grey area.
Logged
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
- Calvin Coolidge

Offline patriot1112

  • Member
  • ****
  • 995
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 141
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #38 on: September 04, 2009, 14:06:47 »
Quote from: InkerThinker on September 04, 2009, 13:16:50
I was NOT trying to start another cheating wives thread by any means...

I wanted to know about how the "WO"s conduct is going to be addressed (if at all)

My suspicion was Abuse of Authority or Art 129 of NDA... but how on earth do I make this person 'pay' for this...

I blame him more than I do my wife as i know how much of a lying suave d*****bag he is, and was easily led by his kind nature...  ::)

So enough about leaving her I've already dealt with her on my own terms and for me it's a dead issue... it's HIM i want advice about.

Thank you all for your words, I've left a message with a local padre and hopefully he'll get back to me shortly so we can talk about this.

Is there any more advice on what (if anything) the military can do to help me with this a$$.

I respect your decision to not leave her, as it is ultimately your decision. But as I said, I have experience in this, and my ex wife was the "victim" in this too, he got her drunk, he took her home, he took advantage of her... ya ya ya thats bull****. If she didnt want it, it wouldnt have happened PERIOD. A good woman would see through his crap. Its up to you to decide what to do, but heed my warning, I hope im wrong, but it WILL happen again in another time and another place.

im telling you I wanted to kill this guy, thank and in the state I was in I dont know what I would have done. Thankfully I had a few awesome friends I was on tour with sort me out. Think about it, theres ALWAYS gonna be some suave douchebag, and there will ALWAYS be someone who wants to get in her pants. Its hard beleive me I know. But when your on EX shes gonna be the one making the decisions, not you. She has just proven she is a poor decision maker and cannot be trusted. Cut your losses, take your licks. You'll be thankful for it later.
« Last Edit: September 04, 2009, 14:11:01 by patriot1112 »
Logged

Offline Technoviking

    GAFF=ZERO.

  • Milnet.ca Subscriber
  • Milnet.ca Fixture
  • *
  • 126,986
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 9,619
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #39 on: September 04, 2009, 14:18:11 »
Ignore the advice on the particulars of your situation that you receive in this thread, other than anything that says "seek advice of your padre or chain-of-command".  Leave her, stay with her, whatever.  I don't really care.

Also remember as to what "could" happen in the hypothetical case of "shenanigans", no matter what they are, is that there are disciplinary and administrative procedures.  Both, neither, or either could happen.  There is no such thing as "double jeopardy" when it comes to that.  Suffice it to say: get info and give info: to those who need it.
Logged

Offline recceguy

    A Usual Suspect.

  • "Look, I don't know if shooting penguins will help the environment or not. But I do know that the decision shouldn't be in the hands of people who just wanna kill for fun."
  • Directing Staff
  • Milnet.ca Legend
  • *
  • 64,622
  • Rate Post
  • Posts: 12,441
  • doddering docent to the museum of misanthropy
    • Army.ca
Re: Abuse of Authority within a Relationship
« Reply #40 on: September 06, 2009, 13:03:15 »
Quote from: Midnight Rambler on September 04, 2009, 14:18:11
Ignore the advice on the particulars of your situation that you receive in this thread, other than anything that says "seek advice of your padre or chain-of-command".  Leave her, stay with her, whatever.  I don't really care.

Also remember as to what "could" happen in the hypothetical case of "shenanigans", no matter what they are, is that there are disciplinary and administrative procedures.  Both, neither, or either could happen.  There is no such thing as "double jeopardy" when it comes to that.  Suffice it to say: get info and give info: to those who need it.


Thanks MR,

We're done here. You've got your advice. What you do with it is up to you.

Locked

Milnet.ca Staff
Logged
"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 2007 winning entry, Texas A&M University - most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

DISCLAIMER - my opinion may cause manginal irritation.
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Up
« previous next »